Being Still

this morning the alarm did not sound.
Noah didn't crawl out of his bed to stagger into our room.
Johnny's alarm did not go off.
neither of us received an emergency phone call.
causing us to jolt out of bed & head to the hospital. 

instead.
the Lord woke me up at 6 am.
for most this isn't very early.
for us, we usually don't wake up until 8.

realizing it was only 6, immediately I asked the Lord, what?
i asked him "what do you need to tell me"
because you see - I'm a "seasoned" believer. (sarcastically said)
i know not to toss & turn for 2 hours because he's not going to let me go back to sleep.
until I pray the way he desires me to.
its pointless. i never win. sleep never returns. 
instead i'm just tired & grumpy.
because I didn't obey & pray.

This morning.
I've found myself on the back porch.
sitting in the dark.
wrapped in a blanket.
bible spread out.
worship on.
waiting to hear what to do next.

everything is so quiet.
the leaves are so still.
the wind isn't even blowing yet.
yesterday it was raining leaves all day long.
but in this moment, still.
calm.

everything is still.
beautifully still.
my shoes are exactly the way I left them yesterday.
after stripping Noahs clothes off of his muddy little boy self
before throwing him into the tub. to get clean. to play.

after being impatient for about 5 mins & asking God 
again what he wanted to share with me at 6 am.
he reminded my "seasoned" self that he just wanted to spend time with me before anyone else did.

he wanted to have the first words with me today. 
he wanted to influence my day before anything else could.     
he wanted to speak into my heart.
while I simply sit still with him.
he wanted me to notice the leaves weren't whirling around.
the neighbors dog wasn't barking like the crazy little animal he is. 
my son wasn't snuggled between me & Johnny yet watching cartoons.

He wanted to remind me that 
he always wants to spend time with me. 
He wants to pour into me first everyday. 
before I pour myself out to anyone else. 

This morning I am overwhelmed by our God's sweet heart.
Friends, he really cares about us. 
Right now as I finish typing for today, I've noticed how much God desires me to listen & notice the little things he does for me during my day. In the stillness. 
Being still. 

Psalm 37:7 "Be still in the presence of the Lord,
and wait patiently for him to act..."

Happy Thursday Friends.
~Brit