Tuesday, June 24, 2014

9 Months

My sweet girl. Olivia Rose turned 9 months old on today. She continues to keep me on my toes because she is quite the active little one. In a matter of seconds she's out of her room, down the hall, and in the laundry area across the house. She loves her brother very much & with every look of admiration she gives him my heart grows bigger. Her favorite things are avocado, swimming, clapping her hands, and snuggling up close. Love her little self so very much. 

Monday, June 23, 2014

Summer Time

It is summer time! Our family has been enjoying lots of early morning & evening swims together. On the weekends we just live outside as a family. Noah and Olivia have become little baby fish. I love it. They love the water just as much as I did as a kid. Still do.

A few days ago we turned on the sprinklers to let Noah run wild in them. He jumped off his bike with the helmet on and just went crazy. It is so fun watching him in his element. He is a runner. Always running. Doesn't matter where we are he is running if mom & dad give him permission.  

Life is so short. Lately we have realized just how true this statement is. I want to soak in my babies and family as much as possible. Noticing every expression when they experience something new. Holding them close when they get scared. Loving on them always. Watching their smiles grow in happiness. Walking through life with them. Experiencing it all with them. Making memories for a lifetime. 

This season of life is refreshing, good, and needed. 
Happy Summer Friends! 

Monday, June 16, 2014

To Be Still

I wrote this post nearly a year ago. Sharing again because I needed the reminder.

life just needs to be still some days.
for us, there are some days that are perfectly still. 
my little & I snuggled up to a cartoon on the couch together. 
lining up every toy in the room all together in one spot.
enjoying blueberries from a tea cup & leaving them for later to wash.
siting quietly painting on the back deck. 
laying on the living room floor telling silly stories.

some of our best days are spent still. 
not too much fuss. little adventure. just us.
the stillness is very refreshing. 

Thursday, June 12, 2014


Sometimes during life it is difficult to see the bigger picture when you are in the thick of it. When life is so overwhelming and situations simply do not make sense it is nearly impossible to see God moving. Instead it is easy to see the enemy at work. We tend to allow doubt to settle in our minds, hearts and believe that God is no where in the middle of the mess. In the middle of the work he has called us to do. We lose sight of our calling when it becomes difficult. 

This last week the Lord has allowed me to see the full picture. In regards to areas of life that I've desperately longed to see the meaning behind in situations my heart never understood. Over the last few years my faith has grown an incredible amount. Looking back at the trials the Lord has walked us through I see the full picture today. I know what he was doing now when in the moment I remember crying out to him asking him where he was. Over the last few years there have been times we have found ourselves at a loss for words. Feeling defeated. Many Saturday nights Johnny and I would go the the church laying ourselves at the altar just asking the Lord to show us the bigger picture. As Noah ran around the sanctuary we were emptying ourselves before God, allowing him to refill us to carry us through the circumstances. Most times we continued on through the battle never understanding the full picture. Unable to see the Lords work.

At times I would feel like the Lord left.
He never left though.
 He was always there. 
True to me. To us. To those we were fighting for.

As believers we trust the Lord stepping out in faith as the Holy Spirit prompts our hearts to move. There have been times God has asked me to encourage someone in specific ways. At times I've felt silly or awkward in the moment but I chose to listen. Never seeing the outcome of obeying until years later. 

There have been times when Johnny & I have given ourselves to serve in situations that we knew God asked us to. However, it was hard and at times, the work felt pointless. Years later we have seen the complete picture. Gods faithfulness because we obeyed.

"The Lord allows us to see things later to encourage us to keep moving forward" 
My mother in law encouraged me with this a week ago. I've been beyond blessed by my husbands mother, Jane. In situations where I literally feel lost I've simply asked her to pray for me, at times she doesn't even know what is going on. However she responds with the exact words needed. She encouraged me to remember to obey the Lord when he prompts my heart to move in a specific way even if in the moment I'm unable to see the purpose. She reminded me that later the Lord will allow me to see his plans at work to encourage me to keep moving in serving him. 

My heart today is that you are encouraged by my mother in laws words. That regardless if you are the one in the middle of a huge battle that you do not understand, keep moving forward in the Lord. Perhaps you are obeying the Lord, serving him the way he has called you to, but you feel like your work his pointless. Its not friend. I promise. Be encouraged that you will see the full picture in the Lords timing.
Know God has not left you! 

Friday, June 6, 2014

My Journey to Motherhood

Being a mom was something I never thought too much about growing up. I was not a girl who knew one day she wanted to be a mom, let-alone a stay-at-home mom, that phrase honestly terrified me to my core. To be totally transparent, it made me sick to my stomach to think about sacrificing my dreams to raise children. The thought of raising children did not sound like something I would enjoy. I was the girl who didn't need a turn holding the baby in the room, no thanks. I'll pass, was usually my line when asked if I wanted to hold one. I babysat one time in high school for our neighbors for 3 hours. Never again.

Noah was a surprise. Johnny & I had only been married 3 months when I got pregnant. I was a senior in college and we were full time youth pastors. I had so many dreams of working in my field and pursuing things that I wanted to accomplish. To be honest, I cried so hard when we found out I was pregnant. I took 8 at home pregnancy test, EIGHT y'all! Just to be sure it was for real! We told our parents very soon after and three days later I went to the clinic to get things going. Then, a huge shock, the pregnancy test at the clinic came back NEGATIVE! I was so devastated. I remember calling my husband who was in California on a work trip just bawling so hard in complete despair. It was incredible how quickly God changed my heart from being devastated to learn of the pregnancy to then be in in such sorrow over a negative test.

Obviously, the test at the clinic was wrong (apparently that never happens) and Noah was born 9 months later. My pregnancy was typical, filled with nonstop sickness, cravings, and exhaustion. But I genuinely loved every minute of being pregnant. The moment Noah was born I was ready to do it all again. Seriously, who would have thought?
I was so in love with my son. I remember saying to Noah as they laid his tiny self on my chest, "You are even more wonderful that I imagined" and he was. He is. My heart grows every day with each hug, kiss, and smile he gives me. The precious words he says continually bless me in the most tender ways. Even on those hard days when being a mom is just hard, I love it. 
Watching Noah explore this world has been incredibly exciting. His raw feelings, emotions, and thoughts are refreshing on a day-to-day basis. Olivia's stoic expressions are so priceless. Her laugh is just as contagious as her brothers. Their little arms around my neck calm my soul. 
Looking back I realize how terrified of the unknown I was. Never understanding before children just how caught up in my dreams I was, instead of pursuing the dreams God had for me. I never knew how selfish of a person I was before becoming a mother. Our children have taught me to serve Christ and to serve others in ways I never thought possible. They've taught me to truly think outside of myself. Caring for them everyday is truly a joy and a privilege that I hold onto.My heart rejoices that I am the mother of two sweet babies here on earth and two sweet ones in heaven that we never got to meet. Thankful for the gift of motherhood. Praying there are more little ones in our future. I'm so thankful the Lord knew when to bless us with each of our babies. This journey of motherhood is the the walk of a lifetime.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Noah's Song. The Sweetest Moment as Parents.

A few weeks ago we were sitting together singing and playing the guitar. Johnny started singing songs to both kids. During Noah's turn I decided to take some pictures. Then we noticed Noah's reaction to the words his daddy was singing to him. This has to be one of the sweetest moments as parents that we have ever experienced. His precious tender heart came through on this night.
We are so blessed by this little boy of ours. 
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