Summer in Texas

Summer has been the sweetest ever! Although we are suppose to be getting buckets of water dumped on us, I am not going to let it put a damper on the fun we are having!

These two have been the sweetest little things. Lots of kisses, hugs, playing good together and eating popsicles. (I'll leave out the clobbering each other & fighting that is inevitable in brother/sister relationships on a weekly basis.) 

 Olivia did hate the pool with a deep fear & passion up until a few days ago. 

A good week of me taking her into the pool slightly against her will has turned her into a little daredevil swimmer. 

Lots of jumping in without warning and trying to swim off on her own.

Swim lessons are around the corner. 

It has been a sweet summer so far & we are just getting started. Crawfish, Mexican street corn, pool parties, dinner parties & more. Oh and the best part of summer are lots of late night dates with this guy swimming. 

How is your summer going? 

~Brittany 

Tiny Toes Dancing Down the Hall

When the toys in the tub don't stick to the bathtub walls

When baby dolls are no longer lining the hallway 

Race cars are stacked away neatly

Muddy shoes are clean 

Cheerios are not riddled throughout the house

My heart will ache. 

My eyes will well with tears

The lump in my throat will grow big

My mind will grasp for the memories 

My breath will be taken back. 

My children will be grown. 

I will wish, believing with every once of magic in me, that just maybe I could have the bathtub toys sticking again. And the crackers stuck on the bottoms of my bare feet once more. 
The early morning snuggles that start before the sun rises. 

Today my hugs tighter around my little ninja turtle for afternoon snuggles.

Tonight one more song to sing before we say our prayers. 

In the middle of the night my smile will stretch from ear to ear with each crumb stuck to my feet as I walk through the house to get a cup of milk after a bad dream.

Then 

In the morning tiny toes dancing down the hall will be the most wonderful melody to my ears. 

It's a beautiful way of living. 

To be a mom. 

~brittany 

Freedom to Fall in Love.

Falling in love with my babies has been something that has happened so intensely the last eight months. I have always loved them. However, I've fallen deep in love with enjoying both of them everyday. We have been building tents all throughout the house the last two weeks. Laying there together, snuggling, telling stories, eating snacks, and making memories.

I had someone recently ask me, "How do you always seem to enjoy your kids so much all the time? I always feels so overwhelmed...tired..." I want to share how I got to this place I've been for a few years now. Even more so the last 8 months. It hasn't always been this way for me, being deeply in love with my babies & our everyday life together. I don't have it figured out & am confident I never ever will. 

But through freedom in Him I've fallen deeply in love with my everyday life with my littles. 

Let me explain a bit....

Noah is my sweet little buddy who has always been such a gift to me in my everyday life. Initially Noah was a very unexpected little surprise in our lives but over the years I have realized what a true gift in the perfect timing his precious life has been. He has been so much comfort, joy, and a constant reminder of faithfulness to us in our lives. I've always enjoyed him. However, until he was about 1.5 years old I often struggled with my attitude as a stay at home momma. I felt exhausted, tired, lonely, and sometimes depressed. This prevented me from truly falling totally in love with Noah & our everyday life together. I would often find myself down during the week. Wishing to be working in a career, frustrated with trying to be a wife, mother, & the "stay at home mom" that I thought I had to be. Honestly, I felt trapped. Trapped in a box that I built around myself. 

Pinterest was becoming a thing & it was ugly. 

Pretty on the outside but ugly on the inside.

All these mommas, women, & wives showing me how picture perfect their homes were, how clean their kids were, all the ways their children were the smartest, their weekly menus overwhelmed me, and how their everyday outfits were always so clean. For real? Who lives like this? I didn't. 

Slowly the enemy convinced me to be enough that I needed to adapt. Quickly. 

I fell into the trap of believing that as a stay at home mom that I had to cook, clean, keep a schedule for every part of my life, and act a certain way. All of this fueled my emotions and prevented me from truly falling in love with my baby in a deeper way. Obviously I was in love with him. If I looked at him when he smiled I would cry. I often still do. His sweet snuggles just made my heart burst. But I wasn't in love with our everyday life together as mom and child. God often convicted me about my lack of patience not just with Noah but in general. If my meal flopped, if others frustrated me, or if things didn't go the way I hoped. I got frustrated. Annoyed. Impatient.

I was trying to be something God never intended me to be. I was trying to live up to a dream that was never mine. Definitely not God's dream for my life. Who he called me to be - as his. 

 The Lord set me free of that whole mind set. It wasn't easy and it took work but when he did I never felt so joyous. Since then letting my kids wear pjs all day is totally acceptable, cooking twice a week is a miracle, having an empty laundry baskets every week is rare, having paint under my nails when I show up to church from enjoying my day is something I never think about anymore, or letting my Noah wear his daddy's long green socks that come all the way up to his bum to church is a priceless memory made or if he wants to carry around an orange under his arm all day for a week - its all good. Who cares what anyone else thinks about it. These and a list so long of things that have become real life everyday unbelievable memories hold more importance than being that woman I thought I had to be 3 years ago. 

There is freedom that my home doesn't always have to be perfect when friends come over. Expected or unexpected company show up, it doesn't phase me. I'm actually genuinely happy about having guest. Three years ago if someone rang the door bell unexpected all kinds of ugly would have crept up into my heart like, 

"why are they here, they didn't call, ugh who is it"

Gross. Ugly. I know. 

Looking back on the last 3 years my heart breaks at the thought of all the things I would have missed out on with my babies, friends, and in my life if I hadn't found freedom in Jesus. Found freedom from something I didn't even realize (at first) I needed freedom from.

I have fallen in love with my littles and our everyday life together by grace & freedom in Jesus Christ. Today I'm sharing this because I've been asked how I seem to enjoy my kids so much all the time. This is how. It is not perfect every day of the week, don't think that. I have my moments too, but honestly those moments are so fleeting since I've found freedom. 

Maybe you can see yourself in the me three years ago. Maybe there are parts of you in that old me. The reason I'm sharing this isn't to pretend I have everything figured out, because thats not truth. However, I am sharing this because I know that other women struggle with feeling overwhelmed, so tired, and even depressed as mommas because maybe we are trying to live our lives the way God never called us to. For you, maybe it is something completely different that you are trying to live up to. You may truly find enjoyment in having empty laundry baskets, clean nails, and schedules. (Some of my best friends truly do love it.) I just know that the enemy loves to speak lies over our lives in any area he can. Whatever & wherever that area is for you just know you are not alone. You never will be.

Know that there is hope & freedom in Jesus. Seek his freedom in all areas of life. It may not be easy, it may take some work, and the enemy will fight you over it a lot but it is possible to live in freedom. 

~brit

9 Months

My sweet girl. Olivia Rose turned 9 months old on today. She continues to keep me on my toes because she is quite the active little one. In a matter of seconds she's out of her room, down the hall, and in the laundry area across the house. She loves her brother very much & with every look of admiration she gives him my heart grows bigger. Her favorite things are avocado, swimming, clapping her hands, and snuggling up close. Love her little self so very much. 

~brit

Summer Time

It is summer time! Our family has been enjoying lots of early morning & evening swims together. On the weekends we just live outside as a family. Noah and Olivia have become little baby fish. I love it. They love the water just as much as I did as a kid. Still do.

A few days ago we turned on the sprinklers to let Noah run wild in them. He jumped off his bike with the helmet on and just went crazy. It is so fun watching him in his element. He is a runner. Always running. Doesn't matter where we are he is running if mom & dad give him permission.  

Life is so short. Lately we have realized just how true this statement is. I want to soak in my babies and family as much as possible. Noticing every expression when they experience something new. Holding them close when they get scared. Loving on them always. Watching their smiles grow in happiness. Walking through life with them. Experiencing it all with them. Making memories for a lifetime. 

This season of life is refreshing, good, and needed. 

Happy Summer Friends! 

~brit

My Journey to Motherhood

Being a mom was something I never thought too much about growing up. I was not a girl who knew one day she wanted to be a mom, let-alone a stay-at-home mom, that phrase honestly terrified me to my core. To be totally transparent, it made me sick to my stomach to think about sacrificing my dreams to raise children. The thought of raising children did not sound like something I would enjoy. I was the girl who didn't need a turn holding the baby in the room, no thanks. I'll pass, was usually my line when asked if I wanted to hold one. I babysat one time in high school for our neighbors for 3 hours. Never again.

Noah was a surprise. Johnny & I had only been married 3 months when I got pregnant. I was a senior in college and we were full time youth pastors. I had so many dreams of working in my field and pursuing things that I wanted to accomplish. To be honest, I cried so hard when we found out I was pregnant. I took 8 at home pregnancy test, EIGHT y'all! Just to be sure it was for real! We told our parents very soon after and three days later I went to the clinic to get things going. Then, a huge shock, the pregnancy test at the clinic came back NEGATIVE! I was so devastated. I remember calling my husband who was in California on a work trip just bawling so hard in complete despair. It was incredible how quickly God changed my heart from being devastated to learn of the pregnancy to then be in in such sorrow over a negative test.

Obviously, the test at the clinic was wrong (apparently that never happens) and Noah was born 9 months later. My pregnancy was typical, filled with nonstop sickness, cravings, and exhaustion. But I genuinely loved every minute of being pregnant. The moment Noah was born I was ready to do it all again. Seriously, who would have thought?

I was so in love with my son. I remember saying to Noah as they laid his tiny self on my chest, "You are even more wonderful that I imagined" and he was. He is. My heart grows every day with each hug, kiss, and smile he gives me. The precious words he says continually bless me in the most tender ways. Even on those hard days when being a mom is just hard, I love it. 

Watching Noah explore this world has been incredibly exciting. His raw feelings, emotions, and thoughts are refreshing on a day-to-day basis. Olivia's stoic expressions are so priceless. Her laugh is just as contagious as her brothers. Their little arms around my neck calm my soul. 

Looking back I realize how terrified of the unknown I was. Never understanding before children just how caught up in my dreams I was, instead of pursuing the dreams God had for me. I never knew how selfish of a person I was before becoming a mother. Our children have taught me to serve Christ and to serve others in ways I never thought possible. They've taught me to truly think outside of myself. Caring for them everyday is truly a joy and a privilege that I hold onto.My heart rejoices that I am the mother of two sweet babies here on earth and two sweet ones in heaven that we never got to meet. Thankful for the gift of motherhood. Praying there are more little ones in our future. I'm so thankful the Lord knew when to bless us with each of our babies. This journey of motherhood is the the walk of a lifetime.

~brittany

7 Months

Olivia is 7 months old. 

This is a late post, she's now 8 months, but I didn't want to miss posting about our girl. This last month she has been taking off around the house. I'm remembering what it is like to have a mobile little one again. She is such a sweet baby. Always mellow, wanting to snuggle & be close, and she adores her daddy. Her eyes light up each time she sees him walk in the door. Of course she is saying, da-da. I'm hopeful momma is coming along soon. She has two teeth, with 2 more coming in right now. She is growing up too quickly right before my eyes. It hurts my heart to know that before we know it she will be walking. Having a first birthday. And so much more. The Lord has been so good to us to give us such a sweet baby girl. She is a joy and a blessing to our family. 

~Brit

Linking up with Mommy Moments 

Celebrate: Noah turns 4

Monday our little Noah turned 4 years old. Time has gone by too quickly. Sometimes I'll just take moments to remember his precious face as his eyes fall asleep. The color of his red lips are just too perfect. His kind heart is always encouraging on the days that are a challenge. He continually surprises us with all the charisma he has in his tiny little self. The moment we think we know exactly how he will react to a situation, he surprises us. He is full of so much joy, laughter, and so many silly faces. The things he comes up with continually surprise us.

There are so many sweet moments from this past year that I want to remember. The day he met his sister, how his eyes lit up. The way he always snuggles so sweetly on the couch nearly every night with me. The way he adores his daddy, wants to be just like him in every way. And the evening him & I were riding in the car and he asked me to help him know Jesus. He asked me to pray for the power of Jesus. (in those words). My heart fills with so much joy as I remember leading him in the prayer to ask Jesus to live in his heart.  

this year has been sweet with him.

Monday morning we filled his room with balloons of his favorite color, blue & red. That evening we celebrated Noah's special day with cake on the back porch and he opened a puzzle from us. We put it together many times before he ran free in the backyard with his daddy. Olivia & I enjoyed watching them run like crazy and jumping into the pool. Noah in his undies with the balloons makes my heart so happy. He kept saying all evening, "mommy daddy this is the best day ever! thank you for my birthday party." It doesn't take much to make little ones happy. 

It was so nice enjoying this sweet day of his as a family. 

~brit