Freedom to Fall in Love.

Falling in love with my babies has been something that has happened so intensely the last eight months. I have always loved them. However, I've fallen deep in love with enjoying both of them everyday. We have been building tents all throughout the house the last two weeks. Laying there together, snuggling, telling stories, eating snacks, and making memories.

I had someone recently ask me, "How do you always seem to enjoy your kids so much all the time? I always feels so overwhelmed...tired..." I want to share how I got to this place I've been for a few years now. Even more so the last 8 months. It hasn't always been this way for me, being deeply in love with my babies & our everyday life together. I don't have it figured out & am confident I never ever will. 

But through freedom in Him I've fallen deeply in love with my everyday life with my littles. 

Let me explain a bit....

Noah is my sweet little buddy who has always been such a gift to me in my everyday life. Initially Noah was a very unexpected little surprise in our lives but over the years I have realized what a true gift in the perfect timing his precious life has been. He has been so much comfort, joy, and a constant reminder of faithfulness to us in our lives. I've always enjoyed him. However, until he was about 1.5 years old I often struggled with my attitude as a stay at home momma. I felt exhausted, tired, lonely, and sometimes depressed. This prevented me from truly falling totally in love with Noah & our everyday life together. I would often find myself down during the week. Wishing to be working in a career, frustrated with trying to be a wife, mother, & the "stay at home mom" that I thought I had to be. Honestly, I felt trapped. Trapped in a box that I built around myself. 

Pinterest was becoming a thing & it was ugly. 

Pretty on the outside but ugly on the inside.

All these mommas, women, & wives showing me how picture perfect their homes were, how clean their kids were, all the ways their children were the smartest, their weekly menus overwhelmed me, and how their everyday outfits were always so clean. For real? Who lives like this? I didn't. 

Slowly the enemy convinced me to be enough that I needed to adapt. Quickly. 

I fell into the trap of believing that as a stay at home mom that I had to cook, clean, keep a schedule for every part of my life, and act a certain way. All of this fueled my emotions and prevented me from truly falling in love with my baby in a deeper way. Obviously I was in love with him. If I looked at him when he smiled I would cry. I often still do. His sweet snuggles just made my heart burst. But I wasn't in love with our everyday life together as mom and child. God often convicted me about my lack of patience not just with Noah but in general. If my meal flopped, if others frustrated me, or if things didn't go the way I hoped. I got frustrated. Annoyed. Impatient.

I was trying to be something God never intended me to be. I was trying to live up to a dream that was never mine. Definitely not God's dream for my life. Who he called me to be - as his. 

 The Lord set me free of that whole mind set. It wasn't easy and it took work but when he did I never felt so joyous. Since then letting my kids wear pjs all day is totally acceptable, cooking twice a week is a miracle, having an empty laundry baskets every week is rare, having paint under my nails when I show up to church from enjoying my day is something I never think about anymore, or letting my Noah wear his daddy's long green socks that come all the way up to his bum to church is a priceless memory made or if he wants to carry around an orange under his arm all day for a week - its all good. Who cares what anyone else thinks about it. These and a list so long of things that have become real life everyday unbelievable memories hold more importance than being that woman I thought I had to be 3 years ago. 

There is freedom that my home doesn't always have to be perfect when friends come over. Expected or unexpected company show up, it doesn't phase me. I'm actually genuinely happy about having guest. Three years ago if someone rang the door bell unexpected all kinds of ugly would have crept up into my heart like, 

"why are they here, they didn't call, ugh who is it"

Gross. Ugly. I know. 

Looking back on the last 3 years my heart breaks at the thought of all the things I would have missed out on with my babies, friends, and in my life if I hadn't found freedom in Jesus. Found freedom from something I didn't even realize (at first) I needed freedom from.

I have fallen in love with my littles and our everyday life together by grace & freedom in Jesus Christ. Today I'm sharing this because I've been asked how I seem to enjoy my kids so much all the time. This is how. It is not perfect every day of the week, don't think that. I have my moments too, but honestly those moments are so fleeting since I've found freedom. 

Maybe you can see yourself in the me three years ago. Maybe there are parts of you in that old me. The reason I'm sharing this isn't to pretend I have everything figured out, because thats not truth. However, I am sharing this because I know that other women struggle with feeling overwhelmed, so tired, and even depressed as mommas because maybe we are trying to live our lives the way God never called us to. For you, maybe it is something completely different that you are trying to live up to. You may truly find enjoyment in having empty laundry baskets, clean nails, and schedules. (Some of my best friends truly do love it.) I just know that the enemy loves to speak lies over our lives in any area he can. Whatever & wherever that area is for you just know you are not alone. You never will be.

Know that there is hope & freedom in Jesus. Seek his freedom in all areas of life. It may not be easy, it may take some work, and the enemy will fight you over it a lot but it is possible to live in freedom. 

~brit

Noah's Song. The Sweetest Moment as Parents.

A few weeks ago we were sitting together singing and playing the guitar. Johnny started singing songs to both kids. During Noah's turn I decided to take some pictures. Then we noticed Noah's reaction to the words his daddy was singing to him. This has to be one of the sweetest moments as parents that we have ever experienced. His precious tender heart came through on this night.

We are so blessed by this little boy of ours. 

~brit

Baby Wearing & Attachment Parenting

It is no secret that I'm slightly crazy about my littles. This over the top charismatic little boy who made me a momma & his precious sister gracing me with overwhelming beauty and restored faith. As their momma I find myself wanting to keep them close to me. Their little hands holding mine, always kissing their cheeks, and hugs lasting all day.

As a full time student in college when Noah was born my schedule required me to be away for 2-3 days a week. Noah nursed and was extremely attached but his little sister seems to have him beat in that department. We tend to encourage this attachment and affection. 

With our first we felt pressured to do things that our friends and family members did with their children. Pressure from ourselves mostly. Bed time routines and whatnot. Our kids for the most part go to bed around the same time each night & they each sleep in their own bed the majority of the time. Noah more often than not climbs into our bed at some point during the night. Olivia sleeps alone 90% of the time. We were never very good at letting Noah cry it out or forcing him to sleep in his own bed if he didn't want to. We can count on one hand how many times we've disciplined our son for not staying in his room to sleep. We quickly threw so much out the window that we thought we had to follow. So this time around, from the get go, we kinda let the idea go that parenting in a specific way was not for us. Instead we were confident in doing things that worked for us. How we enjoyed life. We knew before Olivia was born that we were leaning towards an attachment parenting style because thats what eventually happened with Noah. We also planned for lots of baby wearing. However, I truly didn't anticipate being completely in love with these ideas. 

Life experiences have a way of changing your perspective. Before having kids I remember thinking moms who always had their kids with them must go insane, didn't they want a break? I use to think parents who allowed their littles to sleep with them must not care to enforce discipline. They must just be weak and give into their child's every whim. My mindset has changed drastically over the last four years. Realizing how naive, close minded I use to be.

Perhaps part of the reason I welcome having our children so close to us, with us all the time in whatever we are doing is because it took a lot to get them into our world. (Noah's story here & my struggle with loss here)Including their precious lives into everything we do seems natural. Normal. Each of our children had serious hurdles to cross in utero but the Lord has been faithful to bless us their lives. In ministry we have consciously decided to have me be as present as possible instead of at home with our kids. We make the choice to take them with us wherever we go. It works for us.

Baby wearing has come naturally this time around. Honestly, I love wearing our girl. Looking down at her sweet little nose, kissing her rosy cheeks every few minutes, and always letting her know how much she is loved. It has been a beautiful avenue to express my love for her. 

In the same way we keep Noah close as well. Snuggling him all the time. I have absolutely no clue how many times a day we exchange I love yous, hugs, and lots of kisses. He is precious. This is the time to instill in our children the things we value and hold dear to us.

Baby wearing is such a blessing. I have a sakura bloom ring sling & an ergo (a friend lent me), each are wonderful. I use both of them every single day. Anytime we go out she is in a sling. Life is easier plus she is always close.

A huge perk to wearing your baby verses carrying them in your arms, is you are hands free! Especially in church. Y'all this is a BIG deal for me. On Sundays, Wednesday, and Thursdays you will usually find me with either the sakura or the ergo on with Olivia tucked away inside. It allows me to keep track of Noah while still keeping her safely secured to me. I am hands free during worship. I can totally worship the way I want to and pray for others if I feel led to. It is amazing. 

Cooking, cleaning, feeding her & Noah at the same time is possible with baby wearing. Grocery shopping is a breeze with both kids too. I am a forever fan.

This lifestyle works for us, however so many wonderful moms have chosen a different route that works for them. They are beautiful mothers and we love our children just the same. Attachment parenting & baby wearing are two passions of mine. I do not believe they are for every parent but if you have any questions about either feel free to ask. I'm no expert on either, however only on my experiences. 

~Brit

This post is not a paid advertisement. I simply want to share

 with you my love for baby wearing & attachment parenting.

Live a Life Refreshed in Him. Not Yourself.

just breathe

stop controlling

start speaking kindly

move with gentleness

act in kindness

find his grace.

One day last week this is what I began to say to myself around 8:30 am. Johnny was gone to work, I was trying to get dressed for the day & breakfast going. 

My coffee was already cold, reheated twice. 

Olivia was crying. Noah was giving me a run for my money. 

Requiring my patience to work on overtime. 

He was nearly begging me to put him into time out.

I felt anxious. 

Literally out of breath. 

It would have been the perfect moment for me to release myself into the temptation of becoming overwhelmed and allowing the ugliness that wanted to rise up within me out. 

Thankfully, we serve a Jesus who ask us to be mommas of a different standard.

In moments like this He encourages our hearts to act in His love. Not our own. 

To show grace to our little sons who are a bit out of control before 9 am.

He calls us to reach deep into ourselves to pull out the lovely even if its surrounded by ugly.

I breathed in deep. 

Picked up my baby girl. 

Grabbed my little man. 

Asked the Lord to cover our day together. 

Letting us feel refreshed instead of run down.

He has been speaking to me to walk in a life refreshed in Him. Not myself. 

~Brit

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