The last few nights I have been up past my bedtime reading, enjoying new music (click here to listen), journaling, and talking with Jesus. I've been up just sharing my heart with Him. Letting Him know how much I adore His plans for my life. I've been up just letting Him know who He is to me. This is more than necessary & beneficial in life right now because the last few weeks I've struggled with letting God have everything.
There are areas in life that I feel as if we are in limbo about right now. Just being transparent with these they are knowing when is the right time to try for another baby, giving of our time & resources the way that God has called our family to, and going to Haiti with our church in July. I gave all of these over to the Lord, prayed about them, and know the direction He desires in each of these areas. But yet I still have been catching myself second-guessing the decisions regarding these areas, worrying about them, and just outright not giving them completely over to the Lord. I have been asking myself, why? Why am I still hung up on these things & allow my mind to wander?
Here is the place in life that at one time I would have been tempted to pull the "I am a woman" card in saying that it is in my genes to worry and second guess. That would have been my reasoning when I asked God why I still give them a second thought. Now, I know better. That is not true. God has not called me to be a worry-wart, second guessing things, and to try to work out my life on my own.
I know He is so faithful, so what is my deal that I have been holding onto these areas of life for the last few weeks? The truth is that I was getting too busy during the day and not allowing the Lord to just have these worries. I was spending time with Him but during that time I was holding onto these areas because I wasn't really wanting to give them up yet. I wanted come up with my own plan for them & to see what that might look like without the Lords insight.
I was forgetting what His word says. I needed to be reminded....
Above, Philippians 4:6-7
Jeremiah 29:11-14 says,
"For I know the plans that I have for you, says the Lord..."
My favorite part of this popular passage is a few lines after in verse 13 & 14, "If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you, says the Lord."
What could be more reassuring than to know that God has all my life plans for me in his hands & if I will just look for Him with my whole heart I will find Him? There will never be anything more secure in life, than His promises.