On any given morning my four year old stumbles across the room heading in my direction to ask me, "Mommy, can I sit with you?"
Every time his sleepy voice ask that simple question my heart gets full. I scoop him up close to me. Grab the fuzzy green blanket nearby pulling it around the two of us. Wrap my arms around his little self. Kiss the back of his precious blonde locks. There we sit.
He is mine. A part of me.
He came from me. Of course he can sit with me.
I want to spend time with him. Loving on him. Making him feel special.
My hope is for him to know that he can come sit with me any time he likes. As much as he needs me.
Because I am his.
A few mornings ago I realized this is how God feels about me. About us.
He loves us. Adores us. Cares for us so deeply that he wants to spend time with us.
As much as we will allow. As often as we will ask, Father can I sit with you? He will say yes everytime.
Sometimes in life there are times that are so hard to feel the Lord.
To really know that he is with you, right next to you, walking through life with you.
I've been thinking about the times lately in life that I remember feeling like couldn't pray. Feeling as if I could not get Gods attention. There have been times when I literally felt as if God was ignoring me. Passing me by to go to someone else. Not hearing my desperate cries to him.
Early this week I was reminding a lady to simply ask the Lord if he will come sit with you. He will always say yes. Allow him to sit with you. Even if you don't know what to say. Even if all you know how to do is be silent with him. Allow him to embrace you while you are quiet. Listen for his heart beat. Just sit with him. He desperately wants you to ask. He wants you to let him in.
I'm thankful that in those desperate times when I just needed the Lord to wrap his love around me, that I asked him to sit with me. Sometimes we can get caught up in the idea that God knows what we need so he just should answer us, show up when we cry out. The Lord has been gracious to me this year in teaching me sometimes he wants to sit with me. Not just intervene to deliver me from my cries in those moments of need. He wants me to ask him to sit with me, spend time in his presence. This has been the single most difficult lesson I've had to learn. To be patient in waiting for him to show up. To be gracious enough to spend time with him instead of demanding that he deliver me from the dark places. I wish I could say my attitude was pure during these times, but it was not. However, God still loves me in my ugliness in the waiting. Teaching me how to celebrate in the desert. Out of my desperation a deeper intimacy with him has grown.
I want to always remember to ask the Lord to sit with me.