Every other Sunday evening a group of sweet women and myself gather around a table at Panera Bread to discuss Abiding. I’m honored to lead a Thrive small group and this season we chose to work through a journal called, Abide, by NaptimeDiaries. Its an eight week study that is all about resting in the Lord as women while we realize that we in fact don’t know everything that we thought we did about trusting, resting, and growing in the Lord.
This is what I love about the gospel. We can never reach a plateau. There is not a level of “knowing it all” or “having it all together” in Him that we can attain because our God is just too big for us, full of so much grace, and offering a never ending fountain of knowledge to us. We just have to search his truths, wisdom, and all the grace we can receive while we pursue him.
Easier sad than done.
As we began reading through Abide a few months ago together (it has taken us a little longer than 8 weeks) I quickly realized how little abiding I was actually doing in my life. Once again I thought I was abiding because I’ve somehow figured out how to - on most days - have alone time with Jesus. Even if alone time means I've been asked 20 times to put on Curious George or I change a diaper and pick up a pretty little girls pacifier 15 times. Its time in the word and I’m so very desperate for his gospel that I will take it however it comes to me.
Little did I truly understand that abiding wasn’t worshiping to music during my day at home, or squeezing in his word when I could, and it even wasn’t trusting him with my thoughts, hurts, worries, and concerns. This wasn’t abiding at all. This was spending time with my savior and worshiping the one I am blessed to know.
Abide, the journal, has opened my heart to understand that truly abiding in the Lord is making new rhythms in my life of pursuing Jesus on a daily basis. Rhythms that have come from a true desire to find my rest not in sleep but to truly rest in him. To spend time alone with my thoughts, prayers, and love for our King without anything or anyone threatening that time. For me, I’ve truly fallen in love with a time of day that use to be so ungodly to me. A time of day that I rarely have seen in my life unless I was catching an early flight, holding a sick baby, or too worried about something that I couldn’t sleep.
I’ve fallen in love with a quiet, still, absolutely breathtakingly beautiful 5 or 6 am. I know, you think I’ve lost it, maybe you think I’m “one of those Christians” or perhaps you don’t believe me. But I’m so serious.
It’s so wonderful. I just want every single woman (momma or not) to do this. At least a few times. When I use to hear women say they woke up before everyone else I literally would think they must be those super hero Christians or totally crazy or totally exaggerating because there is no way anyone would do that on purpose. Jeopardize their glorious uninterrupted sleep. Especially if she had kids because God knows where you are in life & totally gets that you are cleaning up poop and exhausted that you don’t need to wake up early for him. He gets it.
Yep. Ive given that advise before. Which in many ways I 100% believe. God gets that my bible time, worship time, and prayer time is stretched out over 24 hours, crammed in between PBJs and the evening news but shouldn’t I want more? Maybe I need more…
Turns out I do.
Now, I’m her. Not a superhero Christian, crazy, or exaggerating… instead I’m just truly needing to abide in him before I do anything else in my day. It makes knowing him, resting in him, and sustaining me so much easier. Joyous. Happier. And even when my days are so full that I can barely remember if I’ve brushed my teeth (it happens, don’t judge) it doesn’t seem like it is at all. The days seem so full, so wonderful, so amazing, and full of grace.
What does abiding mean to you?
What does it look like for you?